Conroe, Texas

Interviewing Norman

Slow week. The sofa is still there on the side of the road, but I have a plan.

The star of the movie linked above is from Conroe, Texas, but he probably doesn't want anyone to know.

Of course I know.
I have seen him here.

No kidding. I know this guy. Trust me.

If anyone was watching the news during the Hurricane Rita fun of several weeks ago then you probably heard about the wonderful contra-flow lanes that the Texas Department Of Transportation set up to help the traffic get out of Houston.

What you are seeing is a picture of the hugest fecal impaction imaginable when it comes to evacuating Houston. This is I-45 at FM 1488 in Montgomery County, just inside the Conroe city limits.

This is the place that made the mayor of Houston and the Harris county judge go nuts. The bridges over the San Jacinto River are under construction and the state is attempting to widen I-45 to four lanes both ways. The only problem for Rita evacuees is that this created a huge bottleneck of trouble. There was no way to contra-flow I-45 further south because the shit hits the fan right inside the city limits of Conroe. I get the feeling that the powers that be in Harris County would have just filled the damned river in and let the cars drive over the blockage. I think the final count was nearly 8 hours to get the spot in the picture in shape so that traffic could cross the river, then travel north on all available lanes.

I am sitting on the FM 1488 overpass that is another Conroe traffic legend. For years (All of the 1980s and most of the 1990s) the overpass was too low. Every darned big rig in the state plowed into it. It took nearly 15 years of constant demolition derby for the state to raise the overpass to an acceptable height. Now you understand my issues with the current I-45 widening project. If another hurricane hits Houston, this spot is going to be the largest fecal impaction imaginable, again.

Almost two weeks ago this sofa turned up on the side of State Highway 242, just southeast of Conroe I bit. I can’t explain why, but I figured it would make an interesting picture. I guess the jury is still out on that one.

With the weather finally cooling off here I guess the sofa makes a much better picture than the two deer and raccoon that marked the first 200 yards of driving this morning. I was even more disturbed when a deer made a slow walk across the road behind me. There is no way to explain how it survived, but deer and rush hour traffic around here are not the best of friends.

It was the damnedest thing to watch this buck just trot, ever so slowly, across two lanes of traffic. Of course I wasn’t making things any safer by watching out of my rear view mirror and ignoring the folks in front of me. What can I say, bad habits developed from years of pizza delivery die hard.

Once upon a time in the early 1990s I commuted between College Station and Conroe every day. It was easily an hour and half trip one way and that was traveling at a brisk 65 miles an hour. Every morning my coworkers received the road-kill report as I strolled in the door. I still have a fearful memory of the raccoon that had to be rottweiler-sized. It was lying on the shoulder of Highway 6 and it was freakin HUGE and very dead. I don’t want to go on too much about it since it might bring the nightmares back.

I guess there is a reason I prefer dead sofas on the side of the road these days.

One of my few prized possessions is my talking Yoda. He is designed so that when his hand is squeezed he greets you with the sentence in my title. Then he acts like a magic 8 ball, only Yoda style.

“Will anyone ever read this blog?”
Yoda: ”Simple question you ask, no I answer”

Yoda is a cruel toy. When I first saw him in the store I threw a fit. I grabbed him and ran to show my wife. She rolled her eyes and acted as if I was a complete moron.

“Will I get one of these for Christmas?”

Yoda: “Simple question you ask, yes I answer.”

Guess what? My wife had spotted it a couple of weeks earlier and it was already hidden in the house, but I wouldn’t find out for a couple of months. It may seem simple, but I really love my talking Yoda. My wife hates him. Especially when I start trying to imitate his speech. The mere sound of his voice makes my dogs bark. They really go crazy when they see the little green monster and hear him. Some animals have no taste.

“Will anyone understand my obsession with this toy?”

Yoda: “Clearing your mind are you or another question you wish to ask?”

Okay, sometimes Yoda is a bit weird, but as far as I can remember, the old Magic 8 Balls weren’t much better.

His permanent place is in the computer desk, next to the monitor. This way he stays hidden till I need him and the dogs don’t go crazy for no reason. ”Should I end this entry now?”

Yoda: “The answer you seek is no.”

Okay, then I guess I should end this by telling everyone that there apparently a new talking Yoda that speaks over 500 different phrases. I haven’t asked yet, but maybe I should.

“Will I get a new Yoda for Christmas?”

Yoda: “The answer you seek is yes.”

Yoda is so cool.

http://www.texarkanagazette.com/articles/2005/10/13/local_news/news/news10.txt

Interesting. Conroe Police have a latent footprint expert who travels to bigfoot conferences. Stranger and stranger around here everyday

Oh yeah, the man is my elected representative, but not for long. Time to vote out the problem and get problem solvers. Nothing personal against Kevin Brady, but to do "MY" work in Congress I think you need to be smart enough not to get nabbed for drunken driving. Not just drunk, but stupid in my opinion.


Following story from the Conroe Courier online


While he stopped short of admitting guilt, Brady said he would accept "every consequence" of his actions, even if that meant a jail sentence.
"To me, regardless of how this turns out, what it says is that you don't get behind the wheel," he said. "I take full responsibility for my actions."
Clay County State's Attorney Tami Bern indicated it was unlikely the fifth-term representative would spend any time in jail. DUI is a Class One misdemeanor in South Dakota, punishable by a maximum jail term of one year and a $1,000 fine. But she said the standard sentence in similar situations is a fine of $350 (court costs are an additional $53) and having your South Dakota driving privileges revoked for 30 days.
"We ask that everyone get the same situation," Bern said. "The standard sentence does not deviate."
Brady, who holds the leadership post of majority deputy whip in the 109th Congress, was in Vermillion, S.D., to receive an Alumni Achievement Award from the University of South Dakota, where he graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree. After the awards dinner Friday, Brady was pulled over by a state trooper for a problem with the taillights on his vehicle, according to South Dakota Highway Patrol Col. Dan Mosteller.
"He (Brady) was stopped for an equipment violation," Mosteller said. "There was no evidence of erratic behavior (by the driver) of the vehicle."
Brady confirmed he was given a field sobriety test and submitted to a Breathalyzer test administered by Trooper Brent Mohrmann. According to the trooper's arrest report, he commenced his investigation after smelling alcohol on Brady.
"Based on the observations at the time following the tests, he (Mohrmann) formed an opinion and arrested him," said Mosteller, who said the arrest was made at 11:44 p.m. Friday.
Once arraigned at the Clay County Sheriff's Office, Brady was asked to submit to a blood alcohol content test. He refused, according to Mosteller. Bern said a portable breath test is not considered scientifically reliable enough to be used as evidence in court. A driver is presumed automatically under the influence if the blood alcohol content is 0.08 or greater, she said.
"That's why we ask for a blood test," Bern said.
South Dakota law requires drivers charged with a third DUI to submit to a blood alcohol test.
Brady's attorney in South Dakota is Lee McCahren, who did not return phone calls Tuesday. Bern said McCahren has not given any indication whether he intends to plead out the charge or contest it in court. Brady's case has been scheduled in court for Nov. 8 at 9:30 a.m., she said.
During a brief telephone interview, Brady said he had been drinking after the awards dinner with some friends at "one of the old college hangouts." He was on his way back to the hotel with his wife, mother, a sister and her husband in the car when he was stopped.
Because it was homecoming weekend at the university, law enforcement officers were on the lookout for drunk drivers, according to Clay County Sheriff Andy Howe. Brady said he was "glad" that the officers were doing their job.
"That night, I never imagined I was anywhere even close to the legal limit," he said. "But the fact is, getting behind the wheel, even if you think you're fine is never a wise decision. I have to hold myself to a higher standard. Law enforcement ought to be doing the sobriety tests to discourage people from driving."
Brady declined to comment on what impact his arrest could have on his political future. A member of the Ways and Means Committee, Brady also serves on the Joint Economic Committee and House Policy Committee, as well as the Social Security and the Trade subcommittees.
Most recently the point man in the White House's passage of the Central American Free Trade Agreement, Brady will be up for re-election in November 2006.
Reaction to Brady's arrest was typically along bipartisan lines. Texas Democratic Party Chairman Charles Soechting said it was "deeply troubling" to see Brady do something as "reckless and irresponsible as driving drunk" at a time when "the people of this country have lost so much respect for elected officials."
Although Soechting did not comment on whether this would help Democrats uproot Brady out of the 8th Congressional District, a party official said Brady's arrest "isn't about elections, but about character of our leadership. People have to decide that for themselves."
Texas Republican Party Chairwoman Tina J. Benkiser said Brady enjoys the support of his district and "will no doubt draw upon that support this time." She said it was "too early to know anything" regarding how the incident would affect Brady's career.
While no one from the U.S. House Ethics Committee would comment on Brady's arrest, a person familiar with the process said incidents of this nature are usually handled by the voters and not by the committee.
Closer to home, Montgomery County Assistant District Attorney Mike Valdez, who is running for County Court-at-Law #3 judge, said his fellow Republican was a "straight shooter" who will accept any responsibility that needs to be taken. When told Brady announced he was willing to take his medicine, Valdez, a big supporter of the "Shattered Lives" program, said that proves the "kind of guy" Brady is.
"That's what the Shattered Lives teaches, accepting the consequences of our actions," Valdez said. "I don't think this will impede him. The reputation that he has and the work that he's done remain unchanged with this outcome."

I walked out the backdoor last night around 10 pm and came face to face with a smallish raccoon. He seemed very surprised to see me, almost as surprised as I was to be standing less than ten feet from him.

The little critter turned tail and ran after a short stare-off that he didn't feel the need to carry on for too long. Growing up in the Conroe area has always been an adventure as far as the wildlife goes. During my childhood it was snakes of all sorts and rabbits. They were everywhere I went as a boy and after a while, they just weren't that exciting. It still irritates me to this day when people see or hear of snakes and run screaming in circles or hide under the bed. I actually had neighbors from Michigan who hid inside the house for several hours after a snake spotting incident in the back yard.

For me it is simple. I take a look, see if the offending reptile is poisonous or not and then deal with it. I will admit that poisonous snakes still get treated to the business end of my shovel, but these days it is just the occasional copperhead. There hasn't been a sighting of a coral snake, water moccasin, or the rare rattler in ages. All the other snakes get a free pass. They eat too many vermin for me justify killing them. Now I can't prove that they keep me vermin free, but there is that part of my brain that tells me that I would be overridden by little furry varmits if the snakes weren't allowed to do their parts. I am strange that way.

The wildlife situation is a bit stranger these days too. I live within 8 miles of my boyhood home and I am infested with deer, rabbits, raccons, birds, a few snakes, foxes, and even bats. What really saddens me is that as time goes on and Montgomery county expands its population, these critters are going to vanish too. I really want my children to be filled with the excitement and mystery of seeing a wild fox chase the squirrels in the backyard. It is breathtaking to watch a doe and her twin fawns wander past the windows. Most of all, I dig the woodpeckers that visit the trees and feeders in my yard. Four different varities at last count and I find that pretty darned impressive.

Now that I put some thinking to the problem, I think the hummingbirds are really cool too. I spend way too much time stalking them with the digital camera, but never seem to be able to catch one in a picture.

Basically I feel like I live in a wildlife refuge, but I worry that it isn't going to last much longer. I find the critter relaxing and exciting and I really want them to be there for my kids, but it just isn't going to happen.