Friday, September 09, 2005
Legend of the Burn Pile: Weekend Boredom Gone Wrong
Life in and around Conroe, Texas is not that exciting. I have been here since 1972 and sometimes I have had to reach really far down into the bottom of my mind to come up with fun pastimes. Lets face it; small town Texas is not always a thrill ride. Last winter though, I stumbled upon a new hobby, which I refer to as my burn pile. It sounds strange and believe me, it doesn’t get much better from this point on. First, a small bit of background information. I live on about ½ an acre of land with my wife and daughter. Last winter my wife finally felt that the dead tree in the backyard had to go. I had held her off for over a year with the argument that “The woodpeckers live in the tree,” but when she could finally verify that no more woodpeckers were present, the tree had to go. It posed some sort of threat to her and our house, so it came down. After the initial fun of cutting the tree down, my father and I decided that we weren’t paying to have the stump ground out. Hell, why waste good money when you can burn it out.
Getting permission to play with fire from my dad was an incredible rush, and I am an adult. His/my plan was simple. I would excavate around the tree stump, pile the remains of the tree around the stump and burn, burn, burn till stump and the tree were gone. I had no clue if this would really work, but it meant dousing a pile of wood with petroleum products and lighting that baby up. Over the course of last winter I spent many afternoons and evenings burning the tree and other various objects in the burn pile. There was just nothing better than putting a log or two in the fire, pouring on some flammable fluid, lighting it up, and drinking a cold beer while the flames went to work.
The stump and tree did disappear and I was sad when I had nothing left to burn. I made a promise to the wife that I would turn the spot into a flowerbed and I really meant to keep that promise till fate stepped in. Over the summer my wife decided that another tree in the yard was dead. I was excited despite having to pay someone this time to take the tree down. This meant yet another winter of the burn pile. It was a tradition that I had to keep up at any cost. Of course I also explained to the wife that I can’t build the flowerbed till this tree is all burned up. So here is the photo of the current burn pile. It consists of some old cardboard (summer project gone weird), two pieces of the tree, and part of a chair that broke while I was sitting in it. I half assed my first burn attempt by throwing some mineral spirits on top (Gasoline is far too expensive to use these days) and lighting up.
As you can tell, it didn’t get very far. Like I said, I kinda half assed the first attempt, but that will be all. My father in law warned me that the chair will never burn. For various reasons he thinks I am a fool for even trying to burn the thing, but just wait. That chair is going to burn one way or another, just give me chance. Now that I committed to the burn pile I guess I should show everyone my “to burn” piles. These two photos show just what my primary material supply looks like at this point. It may not seem like much, but I will find more. There is hope that the lot across the street will get cleared and I can gather more fuel for the fire.
I warned you, the legend of the burn pile isn’t too exciting, but its life here where I live and I enjoy it.
Getting permission to play with fire from my dad was an incredible rush, and I am an adult. His/my plan was simple. I would excavate around the tree stump, pile the remains of the tree around the stump and burn, burn, burn till stump and the tree were gone. I had no clue if this would really work, but it meant dousing a pile of wood with petroleum products and lighting that baby up. Over the course of last winter I spent many afternoons and evenings burning the tree and other various objects in the burn pile. There was just nothing better than putting a log or two in the fire, pouring on some flammable fluid, lighting it up, and drinking a cold beer while the flames went to work.
The stump and tree did disappear and I was sad when I had nothing left to burn. I made a promise to the wife that I would turn the spot into a flowerbed and I really meant to keep that promise till fate stepped in. Over the summer my wife decided that another tree in the yard was dead. I was excited despite having to pay someone this time to take the tree down. This meant yet another winter of the burn pile. It was a tradition that I had to keep up at any cost. Of course I also explained to the wife that I can’t build the flowerbed till this tree is all burned up. So here is the photo of the current burn pile. It consists of some old cardboard (summer project gone weird), two pieces of the tree, and part of a chair that broke while I was sitting in it. I half assed my first burn attempt by throwing some mineral spirits on top (Gasoline is far too expensive to use these days) and lighting up.
As you can tell, it didn’t get very far. Like I said, I kinda half assed the first attempt, but that will be all. My father in law warned me that the chair will never burn. For various reasons he thinks I am a fool for even trying to burn the thing, but just wait. That chair is going to burn one way or another, just give me chance. Now that I committed to the burn pile I guess I should show everyone my “to burn” piles. These two photos show just what my primary material supply looks like at this point. It may not seem like much, but I will find more. There is hope that the lot across the street will get cleared and I can gather more fuel for the fire.
I warned you, the legend of the burn pile isn’t too exciting, but its life here where I live and I enjoy it.
